[转载]北语翻译竞赛（汉译英）译文比较

按：这两天看了@easyboy1987 的北语翻译竞赛（汉译英）一等奖的参赛稿，发现有不少值得我学习的地方，但又发现很多不足之处，比如用了很多“big word"（第一段）、抽象名词（如第一段的improvement、第二段的association）还有用词不当（如最后一段的：socially，这个词给我感觉的第一印象是“社交方面”，而非“社会身份”，你们怎么看？）等等。我还看了@翻译活龙活现的译文，佩服他翻译时客观地调查考证精神。

可以说，大家不分伯仲，各有千秋。不过个人还是比较倾向后者的译文，很多人对“简明英语”有太多误解，在此引用北外高翻周蕴仪学姐在其博客上的一句话：“翻译首先要以simple and elegant 为目标。Simple（不是simplistic）或许不难，但 elegant 便不容易，需要对译文仔细梳理和雕琢，使译文简洁精致，让人读了觉得明快愉悦。”

在此贴上两位前辈的译作和本人（C）的拙译。A版本是@easyboy1987 的，B版本是@翻译活龙活现的，其他话不多说了，留给大家交流和批评！

原文：

翻开历史我们会看到，中国历史上充满了残酷的压迫、剥削、残杀，但是欧洲也一样。我们没有公民概念，但是有所谓民本思想。人民生活的保障，不是通过伸张权利，而是通过例如官员和士人为民请命诸如此类。

A: A glimpse of Chinese history offers, like that of Western history, a daunting array of poignant persecution, demeaning exploitation and brutal killings. Unlike the Western world, we have no concept of citizenship. Instead, we hold populist ideas. The improvement of people’s life stems not from legal justice, but from pleading by scholar-officials and officials to top-rank officials or emperors on behalf of the general public.

B: In examining history, we can see that China has a history full of cruel oppressions, exploitations and killings, just as Europe does. In ancient China, there was no such concept as “citizenship”, just min ben si xiang (“people-based thought”). The life of the people was safeguarded not by their asserting the rights, but by officials and scholars pleading for it on behalf of the people.

C: Looking back into the human history, we can see that China was once plagued with oppression, exploitation and killings, and Europe was no exception. The Chinese people did not know what "citizenship" was, but held "min ben si xiang" or "people-based thought". The Subjects' interests were safeguarded not by upholding their rights, but by asking public officiers or scholars to voice their grievances before the ruler.

民本思想和中国独特的政治结构有关系。简短地说，这个政治结构就是，中国有士和士大夫的阶级。士不像贵族或草莽英雄，由于血统或英雄气概获得权力，他们的长处是受过教育、富有理性。他们本身不是权力的来源，而只是皇帝的办事员。士大夫之所以要服从于皇帝，是因为需要皇帝的权力，皇帝赋予他权力才能保证民本的实现。所以，他们劝谏皇帝，上疏、进谏，有时候是不要命的。在很大程度上，民本思想是因士大夫阶层的存在而存在的。而西方更多的是通过每一个公民自己以及公民社会进行权利上的斗争来保障自己的利益。虽然今天的中国跟传统上的中国相比已经面目全非了，但这一特点仍然依稀可见，在中国人的政治心理上仍然相当明显。

A: Populist ideas are related to the distinctive political fiber of China which, if put briefly, is characterized by the stratum of scholar-officials. Unlike greenwood outlaws and the noble clan, who gain power by blood or by heroic spirit, scholar-officials are cultivated and sensible in human dealings. They are no source of power, but run errands for Emperors with utter obedience, which arises from the need for royal authority to materialize populist ideas. Scholar-officials resort to persuasion and suggestion, sometimes even at the risk of their own lives. To a large extent, populist ideas exist due to scholar-officials. Westerners safeguard their own interests by fighting for rights as an individual or a civil society. Though China’s present differs vastly from its past, the association of scholar-officials with populist ideas remains a salient feature in the political psyche of Chinese people.

B: The people-based thought was closely related to China’s unique political structure, which, if put simply, was unique in the sense that it had a class of scholars and scholar-officials. Unlike the nobility who inherited power or rebels who gained it by heroic valor, they distinguished themselves by their good education and sound senses. They themselves were not the source of power, but only executed orders from the Emperor. Their obedience to the Emperor was out of their need for imperial aegis to achieve the goals of the people-based thought. They admonished or submitted memorials to the Emperor, sometimes risking their necks. The existence of the people-based thought was largely attributable to that of scholar-officials as a class. In contrast, the interests of the people in the West was protected more by the fight for rights by individual citizens severally and civil society as a whole. Today, the people-based thought features prominently in the political mindset of the Chinese people, though China is no longer the same as it was in the old days.

 C: The "people-based thought" has something to do with one of China's unique political structures. The political structure in question features, in brief, the class of "shidafu"(a scholar-bureaucrat position in the emperor's government of feudal China). Unlike bureaucrats or brutal heroes, who gained the reins of power through inheritance or heroic spirit, the scholar-bureaucrats were better educated and less emotional. They themselves were not the source of power. Rather, they were just aides to the emperor. For them, only by being obedient could they assume the power given by the ruler, and safeguard the interests of the subjects. Sometimes, they would even risk their lives to persuade the ruler into endowing them with the power. To a large extent, the "people-based thought" has its roots in the class of "shidafu". By comparison, in the West,  every single citizen and its community safeguard their interests mainly by asserting their rights. Although today's China is no longer what it used to be, this "people-based thought" still has its political impact on the Chinese people.

无论从社会身份上说，还是从思想内容上说，中国的士人都不大像西方的自由知识分子。他们在学问上、知识上，首先有的是政治关怀。他们的研究、思考方式始终都是高度的政治化、社会化或者伦理化的。对于中国读书人来说，很难设想他会去从事纯粹智性的追求，而和政治伦理无关。任何知识上的追求都是要跟“齐家、治国、平天下”连在一起，否则大家会觉得他太古怪，几乎要把他当成一个异类。

A: Socially or ideologically, scholar-officials in China bear little resemblance to liberal intellectuals in the West. Political concern permeates their pursuit of knowledge. The political, social and ethical tint in their research or thinking is marked. It’s hard for an intellect in China to pursue purely intellectual knowledge. Any knowledge should be pursued in connection to the management of a family and the government of a country, and the failure to do so will be deemed weird and unacceptable.

B: The social roles and thoughts of the scholars in ancient China made them in every possible way different from the liberal intellectuals in the West. The Chinese scholars gave priority to political concerns over other considerations in their learning and knowledge. The ways in which they pursued intellectual aims and were engaged in thinking were highly political, social and moral. It is thus very difficult to imagine a Chinese scholar who was only interested in purely intellectual pursuits that were not relevant to political morality. For them, all the pursuits were linked with regulating the family (qi jia), managing the local region (zhi guo), or governing the country in a fair and orderly way (ping tian xia). If not, they would seem very strange and even alien.

C: China's scholar-bureaucrats are different from liberal intellectuals in the West, whether in terms of station or mentality. When it comes to  academic studies or the pursuit of knowledge, the first thing they have is political concern. The way they research or think has always been greatly colored by political, social or ethical principles. It is almost unlikely for the Chinese intellectuals to pursue wisdom that is not political- or ethical-related. All knowledge one gains is required to be applied to harmonize our family, our country and the world as a whole. Otherwise, he would strike others as eccentric, or even be excluded.

附：

1.@easyboy1987 的评析： http://c.blog.sina.com.cn/profile.php?blogid=3fa0083b89001780

2.@翻译活龙活现 的评析： http://changguohua.com/archives/scholar-officials-and-people-based-thoughts-in-china.html#comments